Competition in goal: when you keep comparing yourself
The other keeper is making saves while you're on the bench – or you're on court terrified of being hooked. What you can do right now and how to talk about your playing time.
You're on the bench, the other goalkeeper makes a tough save and everyone cheers. You want to be happy for the team, but at the same time you're thinking: now I definitely won't get on. Both feelings can exist at once. That doesn't make you a bad teammate. The decision about your playing time rests with the coach – not your next thought, and not just on one single save.
What can help you right now
- 1Catch the comparison: quietly say to yourself, 'I'm disappointed right now because I want to play too.' You don't have to pretend you don't care about being on the bench. Keep breathing normally and drop your shoulders if that helps.
- 2Separate facts from assumptions: 'She saved the ball' is an observation. 'I'm not going to play today' is an assumption unless someone has told you so. Tell yourself: 'Her save says nothing about me.'
- 3Find a task that fits right now: on the bench, for example, watch which side the shots are coming from. In goal, focus on communicating with your defence. You don't have to prove straight away that you're better.
Which of these applies to you right now?
I'm on the bench
- Look at a specific game situation instead of tallying your saves: are shots coming from the pivot or the back court? Just take one observation with you, not a full analysis of the opposition.
- Stay ready as agreed with the coach. If you get subbed on, clear up one thing with the defence: 'How are we handling shots from the wing?' Your first action doesn't need to be a wonder save.
- You can applaud your teammate and still feel disappointed. If the comparison gets too much, shift your attention back to the game. You don't have to fake excitement.
Here's what that can look like in handball
You're in goal during training. Your teammate saves a clean shot, and right after, you let in a similar one. Instead of 'they're better than me', tell yourself: 'Those were two separate shots.' Stick to your task: brief communication with the defence before the next attack. Whether the next ball goes in doesn't decide if you nailed that task. That's an example, not a guarantee of a save.
For your next training session
Pick one thing with your goalkeeper coach for the next session that you can control: like tracking the game again after every shot, or making a clear call before an attack. Review it afterwards: Did I do it? When did it feel tough? That turns 'I have to be better than her' into a workable task. You can also share what you noticed with each other – only if you both want to. You don't need to count saves for that.
How you can bring it up
'I'd like more court time and I notice I'm constantly comparing myself. What criteria do you use to decide our minutes? What specifically do you want to see from me in training? Can we review how it's going after that?' You're allowed to ask without putting the other player down. A clear task doesn't guarantee you playing time, but it gives you direction.
Things you don't have to deal with alone
Don't turn every save into a contest over your self-worth. Don't punish yourself with extra sessions, and don't put your goalkeeping partner down. If you're repeatedly belittled, dread going to training, or the frustration spills into your life outside handball, talk to an adult you trust. If needed, you can look for sports psychology or other professional support together. You don't have to sort this out alone.
If you want to keep working on this
Always comparing yourself? When your teammate seems better…
Comparisons happen automatically. Here's how to use them instead of letting them get you down.
On the Bench instead of on the Court: How to deal with frustration and disappointment
You train hard but still sit on the bench. What you can do with that frustration – and what you shouldn't.
Goalkeeper and Kopfsache: How to refocus after conceding a goal
As a goalkeeper, you'll concede goals in every game. What matters is the next shot.
Suitable Mental Hacks
Methods and boundaries of these tips
The linked methods outline general approaches. They don't prove that these exact steps will work for you. These tips are ideas to try out, not a guarantee of better performance or more minutes.