When is it more than sports stress?
The following stages help with classification. They are not a diagnosis and do not replace professional assessment. When in doubt: it's better to ask too early than wait too long.
Immediate danger? Don't leave your child alone and immediately... 112 call or go to the nearest child and adolescent psychiatric outpatient clinic.
The phone numbers below apply to Germany. For other countries, check the Crisis support: choose a country. You do not have to wait for things to get worse: severe symptoms, risk of harm, or simply your own uncertainty are already good reasons to seek advice.
Five Steps
1 – Normal performance stress
Pre-game nerves, frustration after losses, a few bad days after a setback. The mood recovers within hours to a few days.
How you can recognise it
- Nervousness before competitions that subsides during the game
- Anger after mistakes, which subsided by the next day
- Joy in training and the team remains
What's useful now: Be there, listen, normalise. Keep an eye on whether everyday support is enough; if you're unsure, you can always seek advice now.
2 – Temporary overload
An intense stretch takes its toll: tiredness and irritability during a demanding spell, usually with a clear trigger (a tournament, exams, an injury).
How you can recognise it
- Short fuse, little patience
- Little energy for everyday life
- Less desire for training, but still enjoying other things
What's useful now: Actively reduce the load: protect days off, cancel non-essential commitments, make room for rest. Speak to the coaches. Check in together soon to see if things feel lighter; seek advice straight away if there are clear symptoms or concerns.
3 – Sustained stress
The change persists or affects several areas of life at once – sport, school, friendships, family.
How you can recognise it
- Withdrawal from friends and from things that used to bring joy
- Changes in appetite, physical symptoms with no medical cause
- Frequent self-deprecation
- Drop in performance despite the same or more training.
What's useful now: Don't wait any longer. Get a paediatrician's assessment as a first step, and speak to the school or a trusted person in parallel. Enquire about sport psychology consultations or psychotherapy appointments – factor in waiting times early.
4 – Potential psychological distress
This isn't about sport anymore. These signs suggest a burden that requires professional assessment. No one here makes a diagnosis except specialists – and that's not your job.
How you can recognise it
- Weeks of low mood, lack of drive, or joylessness
- Severe anxiety, panic attacks, avoidance of everyday situations
- Disordered eating, significant weight loss, excessive training
- Your child says they can't take it anymore.
What's useful now: Seek professional help promptly: paediatrician, psychotherapy consultation (appointment service 116 117), family counselling centre. Tell your child you’re getting help – secretly doesn’t work. Taking a break from sport is allowed.
5 – Acute Crisis
There is an immediate danger to your child's safety. Right now, all that matters is that someone is there and help is on the way.
How you can recognise it
- Your child seems unresponsive or loses touch with reality.
What's useful now: Do not leave your child alone. Call emergency services on 112 or go straight to the nearest child and adolescent psychiatric clinic. TelefonSeelsorge is available 24/7 on 116 123. The Kinder- und Jugendtelefon (116 111) has limited opening hours and is not an emergency service. If you're concerned, ask calmly and directly; if there is immediate danger, get help straight away.
Finding professional support
1. Observe and note
What exactly has changed, since when, in which areas? Specific observations help any professional more than judgements.
2. Talk to your child
Be upfront about what you've noticed and that you want to bring in support. Talk through wishes and concerns without stepping back from the responsibility of getting the necessary help.
3. Paediatrician's practice
First point of contact: clarify physical causes and get an assessment. From there, pathways to further care exist.
4. Psychotherapeutic consultation
Via 116 117 or directly with child and adolescent psychotherapy practices. The initial consultation is an assessment, not yet therapy – and doesn't require a prior diagnosis.
5. Supplementary sport psychology
For performance-related issues: qualified sports psychologists (e.g., via asp-sportpsychologie.de). This does not replace psychotherapy for mental illness.
6. Involve the club
Adjust the load, plan the return, name a contact person. Your child helps decide what the club finds out.
Preparing for an initial consultation
Support services
What you can say to your child
"I've noticed that you haven't been yourself for a while. I'm worried about you."
"I'd like us to get some support. Not because there's anything wrong with you."
"You don't have to go through this alone, and you don't have to tell me everything either."
Official information and opening hours
This site does not replace medical or psychotherapeutic advice. It does not provide diagnoses and cannot offer individual assessments.