Getting professional advice without making your child feel like the problem.

Starting the conversation with your child

Describe what you've noticed and leave space for their perspective. "You've cancelled the last few plans and seem down quite a lot. How are things?" is clearer than "Something's wrong with you". Ask if they'd like to speak to someone specific, have you with them, or talk somewhere private.

“I don’t know what’s causing it. I’d like us to ask someone who can help us make sense of it. You don’t have to tell me everything.”

If they say no, ask about their concerns: fear of being judged, uncertainty about the appointment, or worry that the club will find out? Explain the next step without promising absolute confidentiality. Where there is risk of harm, getting help remains an adult's responsibility.

Which point of contact fits the question?

Physical symptoms or unexplained exhaustion

Visit a GP or paediatrician: describe the specific changes you've noticed and ask for an assessment. Don't simply assume it's sports-related stress or diet.

Persistent anxiety, low mood or self-deprecation

A psychotherapeutic consultation provides an initial professional assessment. In Germany, appointments can be booked through 116117 Appointments for statutory health insurance patients. Check availability directly; this site does not guarantee short-notice appointments.

Family conversations and parental uncertainty

Local family counselling service or free, confidential bke online parent counselling. You are welcome to seek advice yourself, even if your child does not want to talk yet.

Performance-related questions and matchday routines

Qualified sport psychology support can help with performance-related matters. Ask about qualifications, experience with teenagers, costs, and the limits of the service. It does not replace medical or psychological care.

Crossed boundaries or an unsafe club environment

Speak to a trusted welfare officer at the club, the relevant association body, or an independent advice service. Your child does not have to confront someone causing distress on their own. Ensure safety first, then decide on next steps.

What does the coaching staff get told?

Adjusting training usually only requires the key practical details: temporarily reduced load, a break, or a named point of contact. Personal conversations and diagnoses don't automatically belong at the club. Agree with your teenager and the specialist what needs sharing and who tells whom.

If you would like to speak to someone yourself first

The German helpline "Nummer gegen Kummer" parent line is free and confidential. Up-to-date operating hours can be found on their official parent counselling page. It is not an emergency service.

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