Self-check

Am I being supportive – or inadvertently creating pressure?

There are no scores here, no good or bad parents. Every answer opens up a thought. Nothing is saved or transmitted.

Do I analyse the game before my child has emotionally processed it?

Do I ask about performance first?

Do I compare my child with their teammates?

Do I talk more about mistakes than about effort and learning?

Does my child know they're valued regardless of their performance?

Does my weekend mood depend on the result?

Am I pursuing my own sporting goals through my child too?

Do I mention how much we're investing – time, travel, money?

Do I criticise the coaching team in front of my child?

Do we regularly have time away from sports topics?

Do I listen, without immediately offering a solution?

Do I dare to set boundaries – even if it's unpopular?

One change for the next matchday

Asked my child what they need from meRecognised an expectation as your ownLeft out an unsolicited analysis or comparisonChecked back later to see if our change helped

Recommended reading

For Parents2 min readCompetitive Sport and Pressure: Where Does Encouragement End?“I’m sorry you made the trip for nothing.” That phrase can be an opening to talk about expectations. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Ask how your child received it, rather than rushing to justify your support.Read article For Parents2 min readTalking when you get little back"All good." Nothing more follows after training. It's okay to feel disappointed, without turning that into an obligation for your child to talk. A conversation isn't the only proof of a good relationship, and silence doesn't explain its own cause.Read article

Your current score

No question answered yet. And you don't have to go through all of them – one is enough if it sticks with you.

A realistic next step: change just one thing. For example, the first question after the game.

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