After a mistake
For young people, a single mistake can overshadow the whole game. It helps to keep the mistake small and the person big.
What's going on with your child right now
- Your child might just be hung up on one particular play that went wrong.
- If spectators have reacted, shame is added.
- Your child might be running that moment over and over in their head, trying to make sense of what happened.
That helps
- Identify the mistake without judging it.
- Separate the person from their performance.
- Later, build an action plan: What will I do next time in this situation?
- Suggest a reset tool from the athlete's toolkit, if your child is open to it.
That had better wait
- "Why did you do that?"
- Mention the mistake multiple times.
- Pretending nothing's wrong when your child is visibly suffering.
Phrases for this moment
"The ball was gone. That doesn't make you a bad player."
"What would you try next time?"
"I also saw how you kept going afterwards."
A concrete starting point
Separate a specific mistake from who they are as a person. Don't invalidate their feelings, but avoid passing a sweeping judgement on their ability or worth.
A goalkeeper dwells on a conceded goal. “That shot is still playing on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?” Technical flaws or save percentages don’t need discussing on the drive home.
What makes sense next
If your child has a question about their game, the coaching team can help on the next attempt. A reset technique from the athlete section can be tried voluntarily – not as proof that the problem is sorted.
For right now
Support for your situation
Recommended reading
Continue the drill
These classifications are possibilities, not diagnoses. You know your child better than any text. If you are unsure, a professional assessment is always better than waiting.